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Mercy Mercy Me

I realize now, well, for a while that my obsession with "rock and only rock" notion of music was retarded. Aside from what I can't actually get into, contemporary Country, I can appreciate and love all kinds of music. Finally, I let go of my pretentions...I like blues country, but can't get into contemp. country, I just don't dig it...

Anyway, music. I mean VH1 gave its 100 top greatest artists of all time and I can get behind it, I get their choices, its a good choice. But, who says more hip hop, rap, country and classical can't be let into their list? Beatles #1 like always? I get it, but being a huge fan of an amazing band...maybe they're over rated? Is that possible? MJ was #2 I should just let go and say wooo...and I did when I saw MJ at #2 greatest artist of all time...but this is VH1. They left out Janet Jackson, Queen Latifah, Jackie Wilson, Etta James, The Temptations, and all Classical and Jazz artists, why am I carrying?

So, on that note I want to go to Disneyland for my birthday. It always makes me happy, damn Disneyland makes me smile. No matter how I portray it, devilish and all that shit, I love it and can't help it. And, Captain EO might be on, oh hell please Disney god, make sure your on when I get there, if I get there.

I miss my Mom. I go to Arizona every weekend. She is out of it most of the time, but sometimes and those are the times I cherish, she's semi-lucid. I can kiss her on the forehead and she smiles. I say I love her and she says she loves me back. Those times when I kiss on her forehead her and she knows it, those are the times I live for. Fucking hell if I can be selfish for as long as I can than I will because I want to have those moments of lucid among all those strange out of left field, dillusional, where I'm "killing her" moments, scary what the fuck is happening moments, just to have my mom for a minute I will take shit. I clean her shit, take her scary, sit there and wonder whats going to happen next as long as she smiles and says I love you those rare occasions; I live for those 'I love you' moments; she's my mom what else should I want? I hug her as much as I can, because these are my only times. I live 7 hours away by car I see her on weekends, so with my limited time I will milk it. Fucking hell this sucks.


( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Sep. 15th, 2010 04:09 am (UTC)
Been thinking about you babe. Glad to see you back around this place. I hope your mom is doing better and better...you're so strong. Way more than you give yourself credit for. Love you.

Disney always cheers me up too =)
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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