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My heart broke today

She died on Saturday night. September 25th, 2010. I couldn't sit in the room with my aunt and brother while she struggled to continue to breathe. She was gone a week ago, but kept breathing. It was a comfort to know she could probably hear me and took all I was telling her in, no comments but it comforted me. But, by 6:30ish she stopped breathing, and I knew my only real cheerleader in life, gave me confidence, independence, trust, and life no longer lived on this earth. They took her tumor riddled little body on a stretcher to the funeral home. We think her "celebration of life" ceremony in Arizona will be held on Saturday. The one in California should be Oct. 9th or 10th then we'll go out to sea and throw her ashes into her beloved southern California ocean, just like her mother.

I picked out a slew of pictures for a slide show of her life from a baby to adult and in between. Pictures of me, and bros Geoff and Alan in there as well. There's one of Alan as a newborn, Dad looks all 70s with his tight pants and moustache and Mom looks beyond hagard...I just looked at it and thought, wow, the only one alive in that picture is Dad. Picking out songs for the slide show is actually hard. We want songs that aren't so depressing but ones she would like.
So far we have:

What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong (Geoff danced with her to this song at his wedding)

In My Life by the Beatles

Seasons of Love from RENT

Let it Be from Across the Universe

dunno really what else...I'm tired. Got a long drive back to Cali from AZ. It feels strange in this home without her in it. I love you mom, always did and always will.


( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 27th, 2010 03:09 am (UTC)
Oh, honey. I'm so, so sorry. My thoughts will be with you.
Sep. 27th, 2010 06:27 am (UTC)
Sep. 28th, 2010 03:47 am (UTC)
So sorry love :( Really...*hugs to you and your family*
Sep. 28th, 2010 05:06 am (UTC)
Thanks. I was going to call you last night, barring of course I was drunk and it would have been 4am in Georgia...luckily for you I wasn't sure I had your right number. ;)
Sep. 28th, 2010 10:01 pm (UTC)
It's the same and you can always, always call me babe xoxoxoxo
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )